Saturday, April 21, 2012

Crime and Transgression

The new driver's license is in my wallet.
As it was processed I worried about
unpaid parking tickets
as state computers swept my past
for crimes and transgressions
against the social order.

They did not find my true guilt:
jealousy and rage when love
called late from the poetry reading;
daughters left alone to confront
their mother's shame, anger, and divorce.

Regret is an algorithm ones and zeroes despise.

I heard a woman the other day recount
her rape at twelves and extol the daughter
who grew up with her like a sister.
Just minutes before, I'd hated
her loud, abrasive words,
but as she told her story
she sat transfigured in the dark
of the bus, laughing raucously
with her husband, the driver.

Sometimes I stand mute before
beauty and time, stunned
silent by the angel
that redeems disgust
and graces those who others
would corrupt with hate.

I think of these things from the train platform
as commuters gather for a late morning
train to the city. A big crow caws
from a power line, my black muse
of desolation and renewal.

(c) copyright 2012 Charles David Miller. All rights reserved.

40 comments:

  1. wow..really like this charles.. i've also met people along the way that you would think could never love again if you think about how life treated them..but sometimes i found that are those that love most.. love the train of thought inside the real train here... and my fav stanza was.

    Sometimes I stand mute before
    beauty and time, stunned
    silent by the angel
    that redeems disgust
    and graces those who others
    would corrupt with hate

    ReplyDelete
  2. I enjoyed how this poem is like a parabolic journey through moral development. Are we only guilty of crimes that the law defines or what creates our own regret? There's a great movie called 'Imaginary Crimes' if you haven't seen it that deals with the issues between a father and daughter. Where are the seeds of compassion germinated? Why is disgust a gateway drug to hate? Important questions that you allow us to ponder through the beauty of your verse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. strong man...it is easy to judge others when we really dont know them or their story...and in hearing it it sometimes draws us up short as well...in thta we are not far apart at all...really nice touch at the end with the black crow of your muse...

      Delete
    2. C, I haven't seen the movie but will check it out. You comment about moral development is interesting; I'd been studying Kierkegaard's theory of religious development before I wrote this. I'm also familiar with Habermas's use of social psychology in his theory of communicative action.

      Delete
  3. Wow--me too, Charles. Very strong. And we all know that feeling of judgment without knowing much about the shoes the other is walking in. Wonderfully done. K.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the prompt, K. I was interested in the notion of obligation as it responds to a command purporting to be an infinite demand.

      Delete
  4. Really enjoyed this Charles, this line especially-

    Regret is an algorithm ones and zeroes despise.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The second last stanza is a gem of a stanza. Yes, sometimes the angel DOES redeem disgust. Sometime there is a second chance. Sometimes we have to evaluate based on present rather than past information. Sometimes we just can't judge! Very thought provoking poem, Charles!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very much in tune with what it says in your profile.
    It takes it out of you though, delving in other people's sorrows as well as you own.And all that eminating from a small official document.

    ReplyDelete
  7. We never know how anyone else has to live their lives and we humans are usually so quick to judge. Sometimes if we knew, we would be so glad we didn't walk in their shoes too. It's so lovely that you look to see the bigger picture Charles. Not many (apart from writers) do. Fabulous write again.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like that "Regret is an algorithm ones and zeroes despise." stands alone - it has so much to say, far beyond what can be found in words. And I'm often surprised (and disgusted) by my ability to judge without knowing the least thing about a person beyond present behaviour... Love the penultimate stanza and the final "A big crow caws
    from a power line, my black muse
    of desolation and renewal."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a strong description: "stunned silent by the angel that redeems disgust"

      You're so right; we never know what's underneath a person's skin or abrasive words.

      Delete
  9. We all have our demons and sometimes see through bitter eyes. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  10. stunned
    silent by the angel
    that redeems disgust

    That is some incredible writing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Charles...this is fantastic. It really is about the backstory isn't it...how quickly our opinions change when we have the opportunity to go beyond our senses to the tale that is unfolding. This is the poetry of the DMV, that we all live and breath everyday. It is obligations fulfilled, and the lives discovered between small talk and the obvious, with the finger pointing back to us for the preconceived notions our own hidden words reveal. AWESOME!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dang, Charles! This is awesome! You get inside your own head, don't you. I've tried that, but there's too much empty space, and I feel like a mouse in and empty house.
    Great write, Charles!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/my-wheels-dont-turn/

    ReplyDelete
  13. A great poem... there's so much in these lines to digest...well done!

    ReplyDelete
  14. so are you like Edgar Alan Poe, a crow is your muse? wait, his was a Raven...nevermind ;)

    you gonna start writing like Poe?

    duty to challenge

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh a poem after my heart. Darker the better. love the ominousness here. Crow at the end is a great close. In fact, we used to call the people at the DMV old crows, so found it funny in that respect how you opened about the license, just one of those crossing paths indiscriminately things. The ones and zeroes, such a good line, just there, was not expecting it and it got me…loved it. Great read Charles. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  16. I specially like the second stanza...and this line is terrific:

    Regret is an algorithm ones and zeroes despise.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I really dig this one. Grace and mercy exist for everyone, even those who we don't feel deserve it. (But who does, really.) I shared this on my Facebook page. I hope that's cool.

    ReplyDelete
  19. "stunned
    silent by the angel
    that redeems disgust"
    that was my favourite part. really enjoyed this one.

    ReplyDelete
  20. the angel
    that redeems disgust
    and graces those who others
    would corrupt with hate.

    A poem of great power. These lines seemed to me to call for special mention in a post which was in every aspect special.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for making me think. Sometimes I shut my mind to woes and distress, which is a mistake. It is better to empathise, without judging, as you have done.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I think this highlights how we have an obligation to understand. I find that sometimes I can be quick to dismiss- to pre- judge- only then to feel like the fool when I properly understand the background, the story. Maybe this poem just speaks about our obligation to be human, to treat people as humans and not as a process- as ever, I love your words, you got grit and honesty.

    ReplyDelete
  23. this is fabulous, so many facets pulling us round and round, little glimpses of sadness and beauty in each one.

    ReplyDelete
  24. awesome ... so many things to enjoy love n learn in your poems.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Our real transgressions are seldom found at the DMV, indeed, but bleed out of us and stain our own souls and all around us with that grape juice-like permanence of a crying purple sin. Your examples are extremely original and effective--and personally unsparing. Sometimes the worst crime is not forgiving the criminal, or so the crow was telling me the other day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps grapefruit juice? That invisible writing we must use heat to view.

      Delete
  26. There's a sadness to this, but also some joy in its forgiving tone. Or at least that what I read into it. We are all transgressors and once we KNOW ourselves and each other, we can understand, hopefully not judge and even forgive. What a great write.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The light shines only where darkness is transformed

    ReplyDelete
  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is another great one Charles. Riveting.

    ReplyDelete
  30. It is humbling to have my mistaken judgment of others laid bare as intolerance...there was a man that I had to be around on a regular basis...couldnt stand how he behaved, then one day I heard about his childhood and I was shamed!

    Wander

    ReplyDelete
  31. I so love the honesty in this, Chaz, I found myself in the same situation the other day, as far as observing others and allowing my thoughts to decide something that I didn't even know to be true but then a veil was lifted and I began to see everyone as equal and this realization comes and goes and lately has been sticking where it should.

    A beautiful poem, Chaz, truly.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is very thought-provoking. We leap to judgment about people without any real knowledge, and so often are proven wrong (and shallow and prejudiced and intolerant and... well, you know. ). But the up-side? The angel is ready to absolve, right?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Great poem Charles, when I read great poetry like yours, I feel like anything I have ever written is shallow and hollow by comparision.

    ReplyDelete
  34. The analogy between state approval and naming properly the state of the heart are contrasted finely here, revealing that our greater sins may actually be of omission and not commission, failures of heart rather than of the art of getting by. And while it's mercy, not judgment, that is the greater good in the body politic, confession is a "black muse" without forgiveness. Fine write, Charles. -Brendan

    ReplyDelete
  35. Charles,

    Interesting, you drifted into the dark side of the brain perhaps, your crow lead you there to examine something deeper.. there are good angels and fallen angels...in the grand scheme of things we all need to be washed clean from some of the impurities of life.

    ReplyDelete