The commuters don't believe
the porcelain face, coal
black hair and scarlet lips
demurely shrouded beneath
broad-brimmed hat are real.
Black hooped skirt down
to the ankles hides the heel
and boot on which she
pirouettes precisely in place.
Ivory white gloves with lace
splay and jerk mechanically
akimbo and limn that invisible
wall between her illusion
and crumbling reality.
Pure, unalterable dance in
the train terminal. She
steps from the wood platform,
and air fills our lungs
as the musical texture
fractures into life.
Feeling blood and bone
again takes a second
for gravity to take hold.
The tips are small,
a fact her face does not betray.
(c) copyright 2012 Charles David Miller. All rights reserved.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Porcelain Dancer
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Charles, this is wonderful. You draw us in to your moment. The smell of the station, the sounds, and this china doll star...a wonderful assault on the senses...in a most poetic fashion.
ReplyDeletefascinating scene charles...i can picture her...and great choice of word...musical texture fracturing into life...nice...and then the coming out of the magical moment...nice
ReplyDeletesuch a great image you paint charles...a dream-like mood in the everyday commuting, a real dance in the dance of 9-5..the invisible wall between her illusion and crumbling reality... think this serves as an excellent metaphor not only for her but for us as well..sometimes the lines are fluent...
ReplyDeleteThe smaller formal dance shown off like a figurine within the larger chaotic one--your rhymes are the way I like to see them most:unforced, casually affirming, subtly reinforcing. The last lines are lines for/from the heart..fine poem, Charles, as always here--but this one rings like a porcelain bell.
ReplyDeleteI saw her immediately with just a few words. And I agree with the others, smells and sounds rush at you as you read. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteWow, I can see her as well....and the ending, yes, the ending. "The tips are small." So much here in these words!
ReplyDeleteWonderful vision... expressing the fragility of the reality we create for ourselves at times. A lovely read.
ReplyDeleteThis seems to walk a line between dissociation and being within the flow of human existence, reality and unreality, fragility and resilience, presence and absence. I particularly like the border crossing at the end.
ReplyDeletethe musical texture
ReplyDeletefractures into life. this was one of my favorite lines in your work. wonderfully done
I have seen ladies like her and they look really good with all the make up and outfit. Yes, she doesn't bat an eyelash too if the tips are small.... Nice one ~
ReplyDeleteWhat pure entertainment in a rather boring place. I felt as if I were there watching her dance.
ReplyDeletehttp://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2012/01/22/who-cares-about-whats-that/
Beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteCommuting used to feel me with day dreams, but they never developed to this level. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis poem captures the sense of the speeding train, the wonder of watching a frail butterfly light upon a flower. It captures the magic of glimpsing a moment of pure, distilled beauty in the otherwise gray muck of a harried commute. I felt this, thank you.
ReplyDeleteLove the opening:
ReplyDelete"The commuters don't believe
the porcelain face, coal
black hair and scarlet lips
demurely shrouded"
...dancer for money...any old music will do...
ReplyDeleteThanks for your recent visit and comment. I appreciated both!
Wonderful how you juxtapose the illusory porcelain girl with the reality of the subway smells and grit. Chaz, your poetry is awesome and enviable!
ReplyDeleteI found this poem rather surreal. She reminds me of a store mannequin, a puppet like figure. A touch of the stepford wife about this one:)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful writing!
ReplyDelete@AudreyHowitt
Wonderful job painting a scene, both physical and metaphorical. Love the word choices. Great job. Thanks
ReplyDeleteWell, I certainly do wish that hedgewitch's comment was my comment to you!
ReplyDeleteA very special scene you created here that reminded me of a video I posted last April... egg chair ballet.
Thanks much for visiting my blog and for your comment there. :)
This is lovely. A wonderfully vivid and yet surreal scene, until intrusion of reality there at the end. (With gravity.) K.
ReplyDelete