Your devotion is your strength;
Sleep is the enemy of both.
Your life is the only opportunity that life can give you.
If you ignore it, if you waste it,
You will only turn to dust."
---- Rabi'a
The terror that brings me to these words,
The horror and sickness I feel that words
Are not enough, the sin I make in speaking,
How can I rail against the pain without
Pain itself balling in the gut and forcing itself
through my throat? I’d fly in the wind
And merge with its velocity, drive my car
At the edge of the cliff and go over its rim,If I thought I’d come closer to the pain
That they felt. The suffering of the child
In the suburban home, the tear in the eye
Of women and infants gathering food from ruins,
Can I sharpen the edge of my knife
On the rocks that smoke on the horizon,
Rasp its teeth on the steel girders
And console the sting of death?
?Let me bring these sparks of confusion to the altar,
Set them on the pyre and merge into the light.
Then, then, will I find what I am looking for?
Find reality beyond time, the oneness that animates
All life, pulls together these fragments and ties
The knots in my muscles? I have nothing to offer
On the altar but this flesh, this desire of desire,
The lie and the fear that the flesh bears.
Then, then, will I find what I am looking for?
Find reality beyond time, the oneness that animates
All life, pulls together these fragments and ties
The knots in my muscles? I have nothing to offer
On the altar but this flesh, this desire of desire,
The lie and the fear that the flesh bears.
(c) copyright 2012 Charles David Miller. All rights reserved.
This poem is from my unpublished book of poetry written immediately following 9/11.
Posted with Blogsy
i have nothing to offer on this altar...sometimes it is best to come that way, it signifies in many ways th end of ourselves and our own power...and honesty before the one we are pleeding...and that is came just after another tragic event...nice...
ReplyDeleteIt is all so apt after the recent mindless slaughters in Aurora. There are really no words we can use that would begin to cover the pain of those family and friends who are left to wonder... why... the senseless massacres.
ReplyDeleteDeep thoughts Charles, from a good heart.
Oblation. Not the senseless roll off the cliff to death, but the willing giving of all you have. Does anyone believe that this will give them the answers? Your quote from Rabi'a tells me you think not. Yet I love this poem for its desperate need, for its repetition, for the fact that it is a true oblation in the tradition of psalms but from an older world of human sacrifice, a very recent world (dare I say) of terrorist fighting that we need to understand.
ReplyDeleteI love this prayer of giving what you don't even have, of loving who you don't even know. Your writing is so full of emotion. I hope you publish your book soon.
ReplyDeleteYou handle this with grace and humanity, delving into the heart of vulnerability, questioning, and spiritual confusion. An admirable poem that has none of the gratuity or exploitation of the media coverage of this event.
ReplyDelete"Let me bring these sparks of confusion to the altar,
ReplyDeleteSet them on the pyre and merge into the light."
Such striking language...love your word placement throughout and the meaning within. Very emotively written, Charles.
Hi Charles, this is exactly why I like literature (art/poetry/fiction/storytelling) so much better than philosophy. Because I kind of don't think one can bring anything more than confusion to that altar, and the flesh and all that you say flesh bears ( the desire of desire, lie and fear.) I just don't believe one can think an answer to the oneness etc.; think through a meaning. Or maybe some one (some other one than me) can. And to me, at least, your poem and the settling (not happily!) for the flesh part shows some resignation to that. Which is why you are such a good poet, in my mind!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the 9/11 explanation as it made the smoking rocks and steel girders resonate much more for me at least, as true images. So interesting and thoughtful and emotive (as always). k.
It tugs at our conscience to see sufferings senselessly perpetrated. We often wonder what prompt those with weapons to turn them towards those defenseless souls. Worst are modern and sophisticated firepower on the population on the pretext of weeding out a couple of enemies within them. You've said it right, Charles! We can only wonder!
ReplyDeleteVery well crafted!
Hank
I know how you feel, I don't like to see anyone, place or thing in pain, or being in. Got it and you've written it well and very true feeling of all emphatic people .
ReplyDeletethese are the questions. we can only keep asking, keep offering, keep living, flawed though we may be.
ReplyDeletepowerful poem.
This bears all the marks of primal pain borne out of suffering, doubt, confusion, bereft with sorrow - we would give anything to expiate that pain, to sacrifice for the pain of others, to stop the horror. Well expressed!
ReplyDeleteAn exquisite, impassioned yet beautifully understated/reined-in poem, Charles-- I love these lines: "I have nothing to offer
ReplyDeleteOn the altar but this flesh, this desire of desire,
The lie and the fear that the flesh bears."
Consummate lyricism here...xxxj
they merge with the velocity, and drive the car, and going off the cliff -> all that really makes the poem move ;)
ReplyDeletefour child with book senryu
to say the feel of empathy and suffering are timeless is to simply state I know of pain....but this is personal and you show a willingness to relieve...even at your own hand...even if it hurts......you
ReplyDeleterespectable and respectful write, my friend
☮
if you care to:
consumption
To me, this feels like it is to be reflected upon, not just read. I sense the influence of many great souls from Augustine to Merton. You note about the timing of this poem, post-911, brought to light the inspiration behind it. It somehow mirrors how I feel about the senseless killing in Aurora (or VA Tech, Colombine--you name it).
ReplyDeleteSuch a thoughtful offering, deep and guttural. The repetitive lines add to the emotion of the piece. Thanks Charles.
ReplyDeleteheavy emotions in this and it made so much more sense after reading your footnote..these are the moments that bring us out of balance and make us rethink life...the having nothing to offer...very strong write charles
ReplyDeleteI agree with Victoria - feels and sounds like Augustine and Merton - (two of my favorite) - and yes it may take the alter, it may take the surrender of self, but our God has also created our flesh and to use it for good is our goal, to understand it is our creed...we are born human (body and soul) let us take our body, our desire to the alter not only for surrender but so too for thankfulness....bkm
ReplyDeleteraw heartfelt real
ReplyDelete