She pulls the black veil
shawl-like over her hair,
eyes flitting modestly
around the train, rejecting
direct contact with others.
She's captive for the moment
in her strangeness, out
of place in the city
that shifts shape to mirror
what's different and fit
it to its ultimate
indifference.
The blood of terror is a rose
in her hand. Tattooed in henna
on her fingers, in her palms
and twining up her arms.
Flowerets and maze-like tendrils
write the code of her birth
and death, marriage and sorrow,
laughter and tears. Rites
that capture with art and grace
the wandering glance of those
others she fears.
Her husband sits next to her.
Something rises from the fire in her eyes.
Is it discomfort with the humidity
and stink in the air, or has the
hard indifference begun to corrupt
the thin blood lines
in her hands? She wants to become
one of of us, merge with the crowd,
take on the freedom of the anonymous.
(c) copyright Charles David Miller. All rights reserved.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tattoo, NYC
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Intriging Charles, there's an intimate quiet here with the subject, which is unexpected, and gentle, creating a bubble within the larger cityscape, non-intimate context..nicely achieved
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kerryann. It's the intimate without trespassing on her difference that made the moment mysterious to me. It also captured the tensions of tradition/change, insider/outsider, freedom/repression that I saw as well. In many ways, this poem encapsulates much of what I want to do in my poetry.
ReplyDeleteShe's captive for the moment
ReplyDeletein her strangeness, out
of place in the city
that shifts shape to mirror
what's different and fit
it to its ultimate
indifference.
out of place in the place that takes on everyone...she wants to become one of the anonymous...felt that...i once did...
I love how you made even her beautiful henna tattoos something to be scrutinized...for the sole reason that she is different. I also really enjoyed how you brought across the feelings that SHE has...how she may want to blend to obtain the freedom....to escape the looks.
ReplyDeleteI remember being "the foreigner" when we lived outside the US. I felt the weight of the stares and the silent judgement.
Very intriguing and beautiful poem.
Stopping by from The Pub
Really like this:
ReplyDeletethe city
that shifts shape to mirror
what's different and fit
it to its ultimate
indifference.
You bring the reader in close to your power of focus, and leave him wondering about the ways place defines a person.
You've done such a great job with character development in this--not easy to do in few words. I especially liked the image of shape-shifting. Victoria
ReplyDeleteA wonderful story structure to you verse, great job developing it to the close. Truly felt the desire to be anonymous.
ReplyDeletewhen i moved to new york last year,culture shock hit me in that i felt like a nobody here! in fact i still do!
ReplyDeleteCharles...rather than try to interpret intent, I prefer to fall into the language. Wonderfully penned, and yes, the henna tattoo...much enjoyed! Fantastic read aloud!
ReplyDeletebrilliant! the second stanza is entrancing and that last line - take on the freedom of the anonymous was perfect. really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tash and I fell in love with the language you used...
ReplyDeleteWonderful poem - have seen the scene, and see it again, so powerfully, in your words. k.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Victoria on your excellent characterization. This poem is full of lines that made me pause and consider, not just her, or the meaning of context within an environment, but what art means, why we engage each other through these forms when we can't seem to connect in the flesh (if that makes any sense). There's something here of reality and the aesthetic of heightened perception through poetry that strikes me. Sorry I missed this the first time round so I'm fortunate you linked it today.
ReplyDeleteI know I read this - could I have been so careless not to comment on the beautiful qualities of this poem. The careful detailing of a symbol in a person, an outsider trying to be an insider, wishing to integrate to a place of anonymity. Really this is beautifully written with excellent diction and finish that seizes the imagination. Understand why you gave it an encore!
ReplyDeleteImportant thoughts to catch the reader as the poem unfolds
ReplyDeleterejecting direct contact to the freedom of anonymity! I thoroughly enjoy your tattoo reference and description here. so glad you reposted this, i wasn't around for it last time and it has a colorful brilliance i wouldn't want to miss.
ReplyDeleteHadn't read this the first time; so am so glad you gave it an encore so I could read it. Thinking about the 'anonymous' and how many times we encounter them and how many times we are the anonymous one!
ReplyDeleteYou have told a much-lived story here in a fresh new way - I especially loved the intricate word weaving in the second stanza.
ReplyDeleteIn a striking poem, this I found particularly striking:
"The blood of terror is a rose
in her hand."
excellent choice in one to revisit sir...love having you on staff..and great to get to meet ou in NYC as well...i look forward to our next year together...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! So much is said in this moment about identity, entrapment, art, desire . . .
ReplyDelete"She's captive for the moment
in her strangeness, out
of place in the city
that shifts shape to mirror
what's different and fit
it to its ultimate
indifference."
You show her captive in the gaze of a stranger, down to the most exquisite finest lines (pun intended).
"Flowerets and maze-like tendrils
write the code of her birth
and death, marriage and sorrow . . ."
She is too exposed, and she knows the difference--as do I--between indifference with its hard edges and a sweet anonymity in the embrace of the city.
I can feel her discomfort reading this. Her henna on her seems to be her whole life written for all who glance her way to see. And seemingly she knows she's new and different and feels all the more out of place -- no wonder she wishes she can be anonymous, not so different. Wonderful poem, great details.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful poem . Thank you for your contribution this year.
ReplyDeleteoh the yearning to blend in, be anonymous. always fighting with the urge to stand out. a wonderful observation of a moment in time.
ReplyDeleteshape-shifting city so apt--freedom of anonymity, one of the joys of being in the city, is not available to all--great poem!
ReplyDeleteInteresting characterization and putting yourself into the mind of another person. It reminded me of Gabriela Mistral's "The Stranger"
ReplyDeleteso awash with depth it engulfs you, also engages you to think of landscape and the mind
ReplyDeleteVery clever depiction of a damsel out in the open. Wanting freedom but at the same time under scrutiny. Great write Charles!
ReplyDeleteHank
Ahh... to be part of the anonymous can sometimes be good. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, lost my comment. There is freedom in blending that is totally unlike the colorful "don't care what you think" freedom... I've heard tell about. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely my favorite of yours. I really want to hug her.
DeleteThese are my favorite parts:
"She's captive for the moment
in her strangeness"
"She wants to become
one of of us, merge with the crowd,
take on the freedom of the anonymous"
what an awesome piece charles... yeah...maybe she wants to mingle with the crowd...love how you personify the tattoo and how you make us see her..a great poem
ReplyDeleteThis is quite the poem. To tell you the truth, I didn't see the end coming at all. Was it the look of her eyes, or the set of her shoulders, or something else that spoke this way to you...Thank you for your work at the pub!
ReplyDeleteWander
I like how you captured (freed?) her temperament and the city's. The part about its indifference was particularly good. And how you traced a line through all your poem, reusing the same themes and objects, serves well your using the tattooed line in the first place. Great cohesion!
ReplyDeleteI would definitely want to blend, if you could tell all my secrets from one look. I love this piece and the way you describe her.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome write, like a Nat Geo portrait it gets the details and creates something amazing.
ReplyDeleteWonderful description. The description of henna is very intense.
ReplyDelete