Image from Walter Smith
Like a clot on
the brain,
a nexus of
neurons blinking yes/no
to yesterday (my
death)
to today (my
death)
to tomorrow (my
death)
singing
electromagnetic
siren calls on a
visual field
seething with
passions
desired for
desolate shores
needing infinite
mores
sliding down
voids borne
across myriad
galaxies
let me find my
personal chaos
let me destroy
myself
and remake and
shift
from nothing to
being
to tremble like
a note
on a multiverse
string
i got the
package
i got the
directions
i'll fold myself
in triplicate
fold myself into
any shape
and morph to
replace
what i was never
again
my death defying
act
will traipse the
web of nodes
strung across a
shrinking sphere
that implodes
and explodes
in accelerating spirals
Like a clot on the brain,
a nexus of neurons blinking yes/no
to yesterday (my death)
to today (my death)
to tomorrow (my death)
As always, you have a great way of combining flow and alliteration with a depth of meaning. The "clot on the brain" and death references has a scary but powerful intensity, heightened by the repetition. Beyond that, I just like how you play with words like "strung across a shrinking sphere / that implodes and explodes" among many others.
ReplyDeletenice...a really great refrain...the repeat of (my death) the first time was a nice shock value and made me sit up a bit...
ReplyDeletelet me find my personal chaos
let me destroy myself
and remake and shift
from nothing to being
to tremble like a note
on a multiverse string
that was def my fav stanza....nice flow, and play on words as well...nice contrasting visuals...i like much charles...almost as much as the beard...ha
brian beat me to it, but I must say that the verse he quoted is also my fav - I can really relate to it. This one as well -
ReplyDeletei got the package
i got the directions
i'll fold myself in triplicate
fold myself into any shape
and morph to replace
what i was never again
has me reflecting. nicely done as alway, Charles!
smiles...just saw that both parts of my fav lines have already been mentioned by bri and sheila...so will spare you copying them into your comment box for a third time...but also liked..singing electromagnetic siren calls on a visual field seething with passions...and this is because i find the image very palpable as i'm working in a company that produces measuring devices, based on the electromagnetic principle.. very special visual and a great piece throughout charles
ReplyDeleteAnother powerful piece from you....great flow and alliteration. Thought provoking and beautifully done...
ReplyDeleteThis is also very strong. I am more partial to the ones with more specific physical details, but this--especially the repeated stanza--is very strong rhythmically, and universal. K.
ReplyDeleteI must say 'ditto' to all of the above. Very nice, Charles.
ReplyDeleteyay! my favorite of yours yet! love it! yay! ;-)
ReplyDeleteala brian sheila claudia, my fav stanza (though i also really liked the folding in triplicate & "to replace
what i was never again" ) is :
"let me find my personal chaos
let me destroy myself
and remake and shift
from nothing to being
to tremble like a note
on a multiverse string"
great stuff, gotta digg this ;-)
I felt my pulse racing with your words...beautiful write. My fav lines have already been quoted but I am swept with the refraining lines of death (and rebirth).
ReplyDeleteHave a good Sunday ~
I really enjoyed the fractured/frenetic nature of this piece. It made even more sense when looking at the picture you have use for the prompt. In a way- it felt fractured/disconnected- which then coupled with the deaths of 'me' yesterday, today and tomorrow gave a sense of confusion- of multiple personalities- I've often felt like this ha ha
ReplyDeleteHey Charles, Walter here. Cool poem. I felt your emotional connection to the piece. I agree with all of the sentiments about the various stanzas. They are all great. I feel like you have an inner knowledge (conveyed in your words) of the pain of my addiction at the time. It was a dark time. And at times felt it felt like a living death.
ReplyDeleteHello Mr C, just thought I'd take a look at your blog, and see if I have missed any, & sure enough>>> I really enjoyed the form of this poem, the circular close. I especially appreciate the conceptual, turned into the experiential, by feat of your imagination: the removal of self from contextual time, to a rebirth into the unity of cosmos, the becoming self, greater & truer..death but not death, i feel an estatic shade here..hmmm
ReplyDelete